Things have been happening like crazy and today I realized as exhausting all this food nonsense is, tracking and deciding and figuring all this shit out, it’s ONLY been 8 weeks since I had surgery. 😭 It feels like forever ago!!!
I seriously hate obsessing about food like, all the time. I hate it bad. I have to figure out what to eat, how much to eat, what’s safe to eat and when should I eat. I can’t drink much water so I’m not concerned I’m eating too much but every two hours and I’m hungry and that makes me feel like a fat kid. What’s crazier, all the focus on food and I’m losing weight at quite the rapid rate. I think I’m at 50 pounds already.
My skin is getting wobbly and as much as I don’t want that, I also have no desire to do anything about it either. Like, I’d rather just be thin and not fit right now.
Am I depressed?
Possibly. It isn’t even only about the whole food obsession I have to have, my church is a disaster right now and going through yet another freaking transition. My son got his learners permit and I realize every time I let him drive me around that I’m contributing to his moving further and further away from the nest. His shotgun tournament season is starting up again in November, we haven’t been home for a weekend in weeks, and it’s still to warm to shut the pool down but I don’t want to swim in it either, mostly because there’s no time!!
Life is changing so rapidly, just like my deflating boobs, and I need to just accept it. Part of me thinks I should start doing cakes again. Having all this down time might not be healthy for me mentally. I don’t know what the heck I’m doing anymore.
Whatever. Gods in control regardless of what I think.
Anyway, here’s my “face to Face Friday” post. People often ask me if I took a ton of before surgery photos (I didn’t) but the way I see it, I have a lifetime of fat pics, why would I take a zillion of them weeks before surgery? Lame. These are from a wedding I was in five years ago. See, still fat.