Tricks and Treats and mommy defeats!

I hate Halloween.. 

Lets just throw it out there. I do. I hate it. I have hated it for as long as I can remember being denied the opportunity as a child  to go out and experience it “like the other kids”. And then the time that my overly cautious Christian parents DID let us go out and trick or treat, against their better judgement, my dad put on some horrible mask and scared the baby jesus out of us and I have hated it ever since.

The flip side of that is my husband, who wasn’t even allowed to listen to secular music when he was growing up, is a HUGE Halloween freak show and tries with all his might to make it a big deal at our house.. My poor son is sort of ripped in the middle of this war between his parents and has in the past, shown favor toward his daddy’s side. Unless it means he has to actually go INSIDE the Spirit Halloween store.. then he’s at home with his mama. I think his dad wants him to be all about it and so allowing him to get all into this silly Zombie fad lately, is his idea of getting the spook out of him, making him comfortable with jumping things, ugly bloody dead people and the such, hoping that one day little man will want to go to Universal Studios at Halloween time.

Over my dead body.

So yesterday the boy tells me that he wants to be Freddie Kruger for Halloween this year. Immediately the hair on the back of my neck starts to stand a little taller when I hear that name and I say, “oh really? How do you even know who he is”? THEY proceed to fill me in, and I say “they” because it was my husband who butted in and told me that the boy saw his costume at Party City and really wanted to be him because of his razor blade gloves. I know what I was about to do next is horrible, but I have been waiting YEARS to do this. I didn’t want to do it when he was too young because I don’t want to put fear into the child like that. At the same time, it is in my opinion that there are just some things you don’t allow your children, or any kids from the 90’s and later to think that they know anything about.. 

The 1980’s. 

It is one of the biggest pet peeves I have when I see a flyer come home from my sons elementary school saying that they are having “80’s dress up day”. First of all, none of you little booger nosed Hannah Montana loving little children has even a CLUE as to what that even means! Not to mention, unless you have vintage clothing that actually once belonged to your parents, none of that stuff your mom got you on clearance at Target that you thought you could mismatch and rip up is even REMOTELY similar to the clothes we wore back then. Oh, and P.S. Putting your hair in a ratted out side pony and wearing a torn sweatshirt and your booty shorts is a HORRIBLE representation of what “The 80’s” were, so please just stop it. It is embarrassing and truth be told,it’s rather insulting. “My First Diary” has a page in it that I wrote with my own Lisa Frank strawberry scented PURPLE ink that states “1984 music RULES“, and unless you were there to experience all of that and unless you are convinced that those words are true today,  you haven’t the slightest CLUE what it means to be 80’s. Ya feel me?

SO little man thinks he wanna be Freddie Kruger for Halloween and I say, “you know what little man… You kids think you are all so bad and scary and tryin’ to be all wild on Halloween, and I don’t think that you even really understand what you are talking about right now. So it is my opinion that in order for you to be able to FULLY get into character of this Freddie Kruger you think you want to be, it is only right for you to have to watch at LEAST the first Nightmare on Elm Street movie. I heard a gasp come from the passenger side of the car where my husband was sitting and little man tries to play it off like “Oh yeah? I mean, what’s the big deal anyway? What is the movie all about”?? 

Lets keep something in mind here. It is 11 O’clock on a beautiful sunny Sunday morning and we are en route to a memorial service with 2 large boxes of some of the most amazing cupcakes I personally baked and decorated and I am with the two loves of my life in an air conditioned car, listening to some great music on satellite radio. There isn’t much else in this world less sweet then the scene I am sitting in when I begin to explain to my 10 year old innocent love, just what The Nightmare on Elm Street is basically all about. “In short son, it’s about this melted face man Freddie who appears in your dreams, no matter how quickly or long it takes for you to actually fall asleep.. and once you are asleep, and you see him in your dreams… he kills you with his razor blade gloved hands. So when you do wake up from your horrible nightmare… you dead”. 

He was awfully quiet for the rest of the day. 

I could tell he was thinking about something, and honestly I hadn’t given much thought to what I had told him or that it might have scared him at all. It wasn’t until I was making dinner and I had asked him, ” so let me know when you want to watch that movie and I’ll go find it on Netflix or something”.. “What movie”? “You know, The Nightmare on Elm Street movie I told you that you had to watch.. If you want to play a role, you have to know the character. The only way for you to BE Freddy Kruger is to SEE who he was, right”?  He wasn’t too thrilled I remembered about that earlier conversation and that was fine with me, because truth be told there is really a reason for this. It’s even like a “moral to the story” kind of thing. I thought I was showing him that you cant go through life wanting to walk in another mans shoes without actually having walked in his shoes.. or in this case, murdered your friends with his razor blade gloves while they slept. And not only that, you cant want to be someone until you TRULY know just how horrible, vile, evil and disgusting they really are, and I want  you to want to be better than that son. I want you to enjoy Halloween because daddy does and it’s important to him that you guys have a good time and make Halloween all fun and stupid and goofy. But along with Halloween comes the glorified evil in the mask of a melted man from a scary movie in the 80’s the left many kids sleepless for nights at a time after they saw it. Do you really want to BE that guy? The only way to find out if you want your beautiful face covered by that grody mask is to see the movie and then decide afterward if he is who you want to parade around looking like. 

Well.. What can I say? I scared the ever loving crap out of my only son yesterday afternoon. The husband told me that he had called him back to his room after he had tucked him in, because he wanted him to pray with him a second time because he was afraid of the movie I had told him about that afternoon. Imagine that. He was afraid of the story line of a movie he hadn’t even seen and yet, he wanted to put that disgusting mask over his head and BE that character that he doesn’t even know. Well it got worse I found out, by the time I was done working on my cake orders for this weekend and preparing juice for the following days lunches, I walked to my bedroom and heard someone talking. I realized that it was an animated audio bible reading that was playing in my sons room as he slept. I felt awful. I prayed over him one more time and just asked the Lord to not only forgive me for scaring him but to give him pleasant dreams tonight and to not let him be afraid. 

Obviously I had to let him off the hook this morning and I gave him a big hug when he was making his breakfast and I said, “you do know I would never let you watch that horrible movie, right”? He sorta looked at me unsure. I just said ” I just want you to think about what you say you want to be, decisions you want to make, people you want to follow or be like before you just go out and say I wanna be that, okay”? I think he was still a little mad at me and I tickled his sides and said “Okkkaaaayyyy” and he grumbled okaay. I told him “I would never do that to you kid. that’s just wrong, please don’t even worry about it. But just reconsider what you want to be for Halloween and give it some more thought before you go out and blow money on this STUUUUUUUPid holiday. That’s when he went from scared to mad because aint noboday bet’ say nothin’ bad ’bout Halloween!! 

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