It’s pretty funny that the reason for my stress right now is because of desserts…more specifically, Cakes.
I worked in a grocery store bakery for many years but I never got into the cake decorating side as they had who they wanted in each store doing the decorating and so I just did what they needed me to, which ended up being a lot of the baking. I enjoyed baking but I have always been so very creative and so when I worked on the other side and was doing party trays or decorating the salad cases or anything regarding a beautiful presentation that was what I loved doing the most. It shouldn’t be so surprising to me that I am able to create the cakes that I have been and I am seriously LOVING every minute of all of this. It is not just a therapeutic release but it is amazing to be utilizing these talents the Lord has instilled in me that I never realized I had and I am SO blessed by that.
As this thing has evolved from cupcakes to cakes the demand has begun to increase and while I don’t do any advertising and almost all of my orders have been “word of mouth” it’s crazy how much time is being required of me. Not to say that is the ONLY thing requiring my time as the desire to be healthy has evolved, it’s requiring time to get out and exercise which usually means before the sun comes up even if I was up until a few hours before I guess. I totally overbooked myself this weekend(and next I am noticing ha!) because we are going to Vegas and I want to be able to have a nice time with my son and not worry too much about affording it. At the same time there is this inherited guilt within me that always feels like I have to put the needs of everyone else before my own and while they are off doing their thing and fulfilling their own needs. I am the one worrying about if they are going to be able to have dinner ready for themselves or should I find some time to get that all prepared,even if it means losing more sleep or putting off something I might need or want to get done? Should I spend the time they are gone cleaning the house so they can come home to it nice and fresh including cleaning up the mess they left in their rush out the door? Is he going to start to feel rejected by me being up late into the night working on these cakes because it’s the ONLY time I have left to do so, even though he gets to go do what he wants to do in his free time? I mean it’s pretty exhausting trying to find a balance here and for whatever reason I am the one stressing about it, all the while trying to meet the demands and expectations in my own little bubble.
It has only just begun though, and I know this. I have had a feeling for a while now that this caking thing is just at the tip of the iceberg and I don’t want to be on a ship that just tanks right into it and sinks on it’s first venture out so I really want to approach this all very carefully and use wisdom and discernment and above all, I want to be obediently doing what God wants me to be doing. All of these factors just sometimes make me feel like I am burning a candle at both ends, as it usually is for wives and mothers isn’t it? There has got to be a healthy way to manage all of this, I just hate feeling like I am the only one looking for it.