A church by any other name, well….

church

noun

1.a building for public Christian worship.
2.public worship of God or a religious service in such a building: to attend church regularly.
3.( sometimes initial capital letter ) the whole body of Christian believers; Christendom.
4( sometimes initial capital letter ) any division of this body professing the same creed and acknowledging the same ecclesiastical authority; a Christian denomination: the Methodist Church.
5.that part of the whole Christian body, or of a particular denomination, belonging to the same city,country, nation, etc.
I will not sit here and type out all these pretentious thoughts in theological phraseology and quote words from books written by martyrs from the past in order to make some epic grand conclusion to anyone reading this today, because truth be told I’ve not opened a single one. As a matter a fact, I openly admit that I open my Facebook AP more often then I open my Bible and I am experiencing some difficult convictions regarding that, but that’s for another time.
I have tried to write this for like a week now and I keep getting done and then deleting the entire thing, and I don’t know why. My husband and I are in the strangest place we have ever been in since we got together, and we are so completely unsure and yet, completely sure what we are suppose to do next it is just crazy. I am personally in a tug of war between what I’ve always known and what I understand now and it is causing so much stress on me all I do is cry. I don’t understand why differences in how we see, serve, honor and worship Jesus have to cause so much turmoil between believers. I don’t know why families and friends and churches are battling each other about doctrine and theology instead of just resting in the truth that is Jesus. I don’t understand why I am feeling like I have to choose a side and betray another like some child in the middle of a nasty divorce who thought going with Dad would be the right choice but found out that really, Mom was  where I should be instead. I don’t understand why it even matters if,  at the end of the day both of my parents made such a great impact on my life and both led me to the Lord each in their own way.
Why isn’t it enough that we all love Jesus? Why isn’t it enough that we all want to live a life to reflect, glorify and lead others to Him? The issue of me accepting and understanding predestination should be completely irrelevant when at the heart of it all is Jesus. Yes! What I have always been taught completely conflicts with what I have recently been taught and TRULY believe is accurate and makes perfect sense to me, but I would never disregard your amount of faith or love or understanding in Jesus just because it is different than mine, so why would anyone do that to me??
I didn’t even realize that there was such a battlefield between believers!!  I have never had to deal with such strong opinions on either side of this nor have I ever felt like I had to justify what I believe or consider the source of where it was taught to me nor will I ever understand why any of this is even an issue between “the body” as a whole!!!  We all say we love and yet we tear down our own brothers and sisters over “theological understanding” are you serious??? I may never understand any of this or why we are even going through it, but I do understand a small part and that is this. I need Jesus and I need to be able to grow in Him because I believe I was one of the elect  who He wanted to believe in Him and knew would end up serving Him today. I want to be around other people who share in this understanding of Jesus. It is our desire to have community and do life and build relationships with other believers in a way that is not available to us where we are now. We want to be able to not only do life with but be able to serve at the place we choose to worship Jesus without restrictions based on who/where we were “trained” or what our background is or how we believe.

When all is said and done there is probably a good chance He wont care half as much as anyone else where I obtained my understanding of Him but just that I did. Of course I could be totally wrong about ALL of this, as we all could be. I guess one day we’ll find out. In the meantime we are going to do what we feel is best for our growth in Christ. We will more than likely make mistakes along the way, as people do but glory to God His mercies endure forever, even if yours don’t.

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