WARNING: More Shann Transparency. You have been warned.
It’s almost been a year since I began taking control of my health and fitness and I have had some amazing results and am learning to be super proud of myself. At the same time I am noticing a “plateau” of sorts happening when it comes time to step on that dreaded scale. I have never owned a scale and up until last May I never even really knew how much I weighed. I knew I was somewhere around a double deuce and I knew I wore a size 14-16 jeans and 2xl shirts and that none of my bras fit me right without giving me horrible creases in my back and sides. For as long as i can remember I always wore an 11 pants and so going into almost a 16 I knew I was getting too fat for even myself.
I began to weigh myself and loved seeing those numbers decline and decline and getting under a double deuce was probably the best moment of my adult life(I honestly took a photo of the scale when I saw 199). If you look at me though, I do not look like someone who could possibly weight 200 pounds. I am 5’5 and shrinking in height and my body is a solid mass of meat and I’m not talking about tripe meat. I am talking London Broil friggen tough skin covered casings of meat, almost everywhere. I am getting to the point where I see this London broil growing in places where I once HAD tripe, like in my thighs. When I began walking/jogging my thighs started to change and the less jiggily they got and the more solid they got the more they shrank and it was fabulous!! There is like no fat on my calves at all and I hate how “manly” they look but I can proudly say there is nothing tripey about my calves and shins and I can kick some ass if I need to. THEN I get on the scale and my numbers began to rise again and I’m like, what the heck!!!!
Before you go on and on about how muscle weighs more than fat let me say this.. a pound of muscle weighs the same as a pound of fat. I cant stand when people say that stupid crap because they leave out the part about substance and mass. A pound of fat is more meat than a pound of muscle so while muscle may weigh more, it’s still less product if you will. I would then think that if I am having less fat and more muscle and less ME, that my scale would be declining as well as my pants size, but it isn’t….and it is discouraging.
Dont get me wrong, I am totally thrilled with almost wearing the same sized pants I did when I was in Jr High but again, as much as I hate how honest I am being right now, the fact that I am entering the double deuce club again makes me want to pull out my nose hairs one at a time!!! How in the hell can I possibly weigh 200 pounds, be 5’5 inches short and wear a size 9 jeans??? Lets not forget about the horrible “BMI” charts and their emphasis on how friggin obese I am too. I am in better shape than I was in high school and I am an obese 40 year old woman who is in danger of getting diabetes, heart disease and should really weigh a delightful 130 pounds at most. Now, if that isn’t enough for me to insist on getting more antidepressants I honestly do not know what is.
Is anyone out there?
The more cardio I do, the more muscular I get, the more I weigh…
I can do yoga and try to lean it out but shoot man.. I don’t know how all this works and frankly it’s all a bit of bull crap and too much pressure and sometimes doesn’t even seem worth it. I shall press on and hopefully not morph into some friggin meat nugget man looking freak show, get spray tanned and find a job at a T shirt shop on the Jersey Shore..