My son is not a standard

Two days ago Matt Walsh wrote a blog that began my blood boiling. Not because I hated it but because it was true and I hate that my son has to experience this. Lately my husband and I have been praying for direction in regards to what to do with our only son and his education. Not even just his education but his “indoctrination” into adolescence that is happening via the public school system. The idea that our son,(who we raise in a christian home with christian values in christian church with other christians we call family, albeit flawed, imperfect and sometimes just awful sinners)is suppose to be molded into the same little person that all the other tweens he is with 6 hours a day at school in order to”fit into a standard” makes me physically sick.

Instead of going on and on I am going to copy and paste my response to a parent of older children who suggested that I just let him deal with what happens at school and not baby him, not defend him, not change the situation (even tho there ARE. OTHER. OPTIONS. FOR. EDUCATION) because by doing so, I am being a good, loving parent and he will grow up to be a well adjusted adult This all stemming from a situation we had where my son sent home for a second time, a horrible paper showing his “AR SCORES”. He was made to write underneath it, ” by now I should have 17 points” which clearly was an indication that he hadn’t met “their goal” and then he had to make a line, with an  “X” and “parent signature” for us to acknowledge his humiliation. Not only did I sign it, I asked “according to who” and then went on a rant to his teacher who I reminded I adore her, but  I know she is just doing her job but it’s garbage making these kids do this to themselves. To shame them for not meeting some goal given by the state so that the school can get funding. It’s disgusting. 

So here are my thoughts on it… 

We ordered him 8 AR books last night on Amazon. He isn’t struggling to read. He doesn’t like to and he hates the books he has to read so WE are doing what we can to improve his situation for everyone. The AR testing is garbage. Common Core is garbage. The public school system is garbage. Which means WE have to step up our game and do what WE can to improve this situation. That Could mean playing along with the game and making it tolerable for him to appease the powers that be so that they get their funding, all the while implementing Godly instruction and council, encouragement and guidance at home while reminding him “your worth, your knowledge, your intellect is NOT limited to scores on an AR test. You were created by the same hands that made the world and everything in it!! You are NOT a test sore you are a child of the Most High and we will not punish you or reprimand you for not meeting standards set by the HUSD led by idiots governed by that freak child hater Jerry Brown… But we will work with you on making this horrible situation easier to swallow by getting you the books you need because they aren’t available to you. But we will NOT let you throw up your hands and say you aren’t going to try to achieve better scores just because AR sucks, just because you hate reading and just because you can’t check out a book you like” True quotes from a conversation we had yesterday. 

It’s my responsibility as a protective parent who LOVES my child to seek out information to make a way to meet my sons educational needs when they aren’t being met by the public school system and I would be a horrible parent(IN MY OPINION) if I just threw up MY hands and said “oh well this is how it is deal with it because that’s what will make you a well adjusted man”. Hell no!! 
If I have to, I will put him in another school or we will UNschool him all together. Kids aren’t robots they don’t learn the same they don’t think the same they are all individuals and should not be grouped into a building and a system and be forced to be the same, learn the same think the same. If that is what is required of him, he doesn’t belong there. In the meantime, we have to make it work until we can make it change.

 

Nothing is going to change unless more parents stand up against this crap and make it change. Not just at the school level either, but at State, Congressional and Government levels(the people we vote for). I don’t know WHY we are so trusting or manipulated into thinking these people have our childrens best interest in mind, but we are. Well, some of us are. And some of us are seeing life for what it is and doing what we have to do in order to do what WE feel is in the best interest of our children. It is not “the norm”. I know we are going to face backlash for making alternative decisions in the upbringing of our youngest and only son. I also know that I am not the same 18 year old mother I was when I raised my first and only daughter and I am aware of more, I know more and I am more mature now at 40. I know that the world I raised my daughter in is not the same one I am raising my son. More importantly I know that my husband, who I am HIS co pilot in this adventure, is in complete agreement with me on this and ultimately it is OUR decision. 

We are ready for this battle against “good and evil”. When we decided to serve Jesus united as a couple we knew that it was going to be difficult and when we made decisions to fully devote our lives and the life of our youngest and only son and raise him in the best way we know how so that he will grow up loving and wanting to live HIS life serving Jesus, we knew it was going to mean doing things DIFFERENTLY than what is “the norm”. The new normal doesn’t work for us. The new normal isn’t okay with us. The new normal will not be sufficient because the new normal is not one that glorifies God. If we are bad parents for recognizing that and wanting different for our son then so be it. I will not rest easy knowing I did nothing to distract him from thinking that the new normal is how he should be living when I am gone and he is grown. I am not okay with the idea that his generation and the ones to follow will continually be separated from the love of Christ. That my grand children and great grandchildren stand less of a chance of growing up in the church because I just sat back and allowed this new normal to happen to my family. And I will not sit back and be ridiculed and be called stupid, crazy, irresponsible and a freak for not accepting this new normal for our lives and the life of our son and his sons and their sons. It’s our obligation to our God to be different than this new normal. If we choose not to, we are no different then it at all, and for US that isn’t okay.

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One thought on “My son is not a standard

  1. I should have known you would write a blog about this! I love it. Micaela was in 4th grade when she started coming to me telling me she was stupid. She had to sit at the behavior table in her class (although she has never had a behavior issue at school or been in trouble for anything behavior related) because she was further behind than the class and they couldn’t dedicate the time to meet her where she was at. Our decision to homeschool didn’t start because of religious reasons, it didn’t even start because of these standards. Although I did think it was ridiculous that she would be punished because she wasn’t up to par with her scores for the math part of the standardized test, but they wouldn’t do any interventions or help her because she read above grade level and could pass the reading part of the test just fine. I don’t ever want my child to think she is stupid. EVER. As I spent more time researching homeschooling and all things involved, I became even more aware of this. And I firmly agree that every child is different and that no one mold can fit all of them at once. Which is what the public education (and some private schools) want them to be able to do. Because it’s a business AND a government entity, and it does what it wants. Now, I’m not against public schools. And I do believe that they deserve funding to make things BETTER. But if I can’t see the BETTER… then really, where and what is that funding for???? What’s sad is that it’s rarely the teachers who are the problem. Or even the administration at the ground level. They are part of the education system because they truly want to help kids learn and be mentors for them. They get sucked in the machine like the rest of us. Even from the time we were in school until now, it’s SO different. SO different. I know you guys are considering a private school for Ethan, and you have my love and support every step of the way, no matter what that final decision looks like. If I could afford private school, I might have gone that route, but even in that situation, I think that they would expect the kids in the same grade to be roughly at the same level, and I think that some kids are just all over the place with their abilities. Micaela reads at a college level. Her math is at an “almost 4th grade” level. Should she feel stupid?? HECK NO! She is NOT stupid. Great blog, Shannon.

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