Hi diddily dee.. Holistic doctor for me

I am going to see a holistic doctor this afternoon and I am beginning to freak out a little. After recognizing my addictive behaviours and having realized my other doctor was keeping me medicated and couldn’t care less what was happening to me, someone told me about this holistic lady doctor she went to and about iridology. Of course if you google it you find out almost immediately people think it’s complete bullshit. Personally, I thing modern medicine is complete bullshit so what the Google results suggest really isn’t important to me. I figure it’s also filtered by money through big pharma and some sort of system where you can make the good links post first and the negative ones last… That does exist you know. 

I’m mostly afraid of them telling me what is wrong with me. I have come to the conclusion that I would rather waste the money on a clean bill of health then go and find out what is wrong. It kind of occurred to me the other day, something that I never ever considered, is that,I wonder if when I am dipping lower into a depression or just off of a manic high, and I feel so exhausted and my body hurts and I feel miserable and dont want to do anything but sleep,  could that just be due to the bipolar disorder? Or am I really going to find out I have lupus or something. Is chronic fatigue mental or physical? Is is brought on by the bipolar shifts? I have an appointment with my psychiatrist coming up soon, hopefully I wont be so completely manic this time and actually admit that something has been bothering me. I always seem to go in there when I am at my best. 
Works for me…

I do not intend on telling this doctor ANYTHING when I get there. I want to see if they can really diagnose my symptoms by looking into my eyes. I did that once with a doctor my daughter went to see when she had to go to a small clinic to get a sports physical. We didnt tell them a single thing that was wrong with her heart or her back or anything and they were able to recognize it themselves. I feel like too often your chart gives them a reason to NOT pay you any mind. Have I mentioned I hate modern medicine yet? Well it should be interesting and I will certainly post my results. As much as i dont want to I also have to make an appointment to see a gyno because I am too young to stop ovulating and out of the clear blue no where my body has suddenly stopped producing eggs. I know this because when I am, my body screams out in pain and so do I. It is thee single worst pain I have ever experienced on a monthly basis and for whatever reason it just stopped happening in May. Watch them tell me I miraculously conceived. Wouldnt that be something?? Husband is shooting blanks and I had my uterus burned with a boiling water balloon a few  years ago and was told carrying a child wouldnt be successfully possible. 

I cant even think about all that just yet. Lets deal with the guru for now. 

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