Have you ever experienced that moment when you realized something you thought all along turns out was something completely different? For example, when my parents decided to separate and then divorce, there wasn’t a single person outside our family that thought for a single minute there were any problems in my parents marriage of 27 years. I would even go so far as to say that because my parents divorced after 27 years and because of what people assumed my parents marriage was, it really disfigured their ideas on marital relationships and their faith in long term love even lasting. I know as well as anyone that things aren’t always what you see, but when you are dealing with Christians, as in the case of my parents, and the majority of the people I know who were floored at the news of their divorce, you believe that things are healthy and solid and that what you see IS in fact, what you get. You have no reason to believe otherwise basically, I mean why should you? All those years, pretty good kids, solid foundation, everyone is in church on Sundays, family dinners, on and on and on and people just believe what they observe or what they are taught because you trust the source. While I wasn’t totally floored when my parents divorced it was the skeletons that came dumping out of the closets after all the years that messed me up but at the same time, somehow made me come to the conclusion that things aren’t always what they seem and there ARE always more than one side to every story and most importantly, instead of just believing everything I hear I need to find out if there are facts to back it up and then decide how I choose to believe about it.
I am currently faced with something that I always thought was truth but finding out that it just might not be so. Something that I thought I had all figured out, even though it was completely confusing on all levels imaginable, I feel like I dont know anything about it at all and I am so discouraged. I feel mad because “why wasn’t I ever told about this other view”? It seems like lately there are just SO many things I always grew up thinking were “the way it was” are SO not and the idea that it comes from a Christian church, from God fearing, Christ serving people who I do not doubt for a single second aren’t saved and love Jesus with their entire hearts. Why wouldn’t any of them ever say “it might not be like that” or “the bible really doesn’t say that” and then more importantly, how come I never was curious enough to go and fact check it for myself? I guess because I trusted that they were telling what they know to be truth.
I don’t even know man.
I am just so torn in half right now.. Probably somewhat like my friends who looked to my parents marriage as something they wanted to have one day, only to be crushed to find out it wasn’t what they thought it was. I am just so sad.