Well, my original plan today was to write a blog for a new site that I am pretty excited about having an opportunity to blog for. And then life gets in the way and you feel the nodes near your ear start flaring up and getting hot after your shower again. Then when you are putting lotion on your freshly exfoliated skin and notice that the lumpy node around your rib cage and side boob isn’t just one but several now, you begin to realize that now is probably a good time to go ahead and make that doctors appointment you have been avoiding for so long.
I cant even tell you how mad this makes me, especially because I had JUST written about refusing to go to the doctor. So I made the call and after waiting on hold for 25 minutes before I could even speak to anyone, a human voice came over the line and we did “the process”. She got to the part where she asked what the reason for my visit would be and I hesitated, sighed, and stuttered my words a few times because I wasn’t sure how to say it without her freaking out OR freaking ME out. So I finally just said, “Well, I am feeling lumpy nodes in places that I know have lymph nodes”. Her welcoming voice turned to the voice of a concerned mother and she asked where they were, how long have they been there, and then she asked to put me on hold “okay sweetie”? Yep. What is 25 more minutes of on hold music right?
She finally got back on the line and said ” I REALLY don’t want you to have to wait too long on this and I am having a hard time finding an availability for your PCP” and I asked if that was because everyone is sick right now or because everyone has insurance now? Guess what the answer was? She said that since people are so sick right now and everyone all of a sudden has insurance that it has been absolutely crazy there. I believe it! I told her “and that is why I NEVER want to go in there and had these lumps just gone away and not increased I probably wouldn’t even be calling you right now.” How ridiculous though. How ridiculous that it would even come to such a state that someone would intentionally refuse care available to them because it’s such a contagion overcrowded hell to receive it.
Now I wait. I get to wait 2 weeks to get in but have a feeling if something opens up I am going to hear that concerned mother voice calling me one morning. I guess they put me on some “list” because they “don’t want me to wait so long”. I’m grateful, and I should be. It’s their job to be concerned for our health and it’s not their fault the system is completely flawed and I shouldn’t treat them disrespectfully for it. But I’m such a jerk sometimes that I really wanted to bark “Don’t pity me woman”! I didn’t though. Well, not while I was on the phone with her anyway, I waited until I hung up. And you better believe that when I DO end up going to that medical group building, I am going to be wearing a protective mask around my nose and mouth. I may even wear latex gloves on my hands when I have to touch the door handle to get in, use their pen and hold their clipboard to sign in. I’m not a germaphobe either. I am just well aware of the sickness plaguing the high desert these days and quite honestly, would much rather not deal with any of it.
Count on me to keep you posted for part two. I have no doubt you will be at the edge of your seats waiting in anticipation.