Fastbook hour 3

I deactivated my facebook 3 hours ago and got a text from my stepdaughter asking if I blocked her. I’m pretty sure she is wasted on IV pain killers and norco since she spent her entire day at the ER because of complications from  the miscarriage she is having. Saying that makes me sound like I am wasted on IV drugs and norco. Not even close. It’s just the way this year has been going.

We came home from a 3 week vacation and it feels like life was so pissed about us checking out for so long it had no choice but to take a hot crap right in our faces. I honestly wish I never came home and we’re only  48 days into it. My health is ridiculous! I’m not even joking when I say losing 40 pounds and eating clean has felt like the biggest mistake of my life. While I am glad I no longer suffer from IBS, there is nothing else that has felt beneficial about making better food choices.

I have to wait until Monday to see my doctor. I have successfully avoided her for quite some time. I shouldn’t boast about that, especially with all the lymphnode bumps so close to my breasts. I’m not worried as much as I am annoyed. I don’t have time for this! I don’t have time to have three zillion appointments after the one on Monday for them to conjure up some tupid disgnosis and hand me webMd literature and prescriptions I can’t afford.

I want to go in, find out if it’s normal or abnormal and then react accordingly. I will refuse any kind of cancer treatments if by some freak chance I end up being the only one in our bloodlines to have contracted it. I’m guessing it’s my thiroid and they are insane if they think they are putting me on steroids. I already have man calves and chin hair I refuse to harm myself with medication that is going to alter me more than I already am.

Ive been off Facebook for 3 hours and I already feel like I have a lot to say. If you ignore it, I will be okay with that. I am feeling very anxious about this.


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