Thirty days into the Lenten season!! That means only 10 more days until we move into Passion Week which means 5 nights of family services with heavy preparation and reflection of what Jesus did for us in our place before the hopeful and exciting Resurrection Sunday. It sometimes feels VERY religious and I had mentioned previously that because of our past I have great reservations with religiousness, but I think I will be okay this year. I still will not wash feet in the communal foot washing stations and I will more than likely not nail my sin of choice that I write on paper to a cross and if they have the prayer stations like they have done in passion weeks past, I will go ahead and take a hard pass on that as well. Maybe I DO still have reservations with such “religious” things? I certainly don’t begrudge anyone who does respond to them nor am I annoyed that they are being offered because many many people are very blessed by these opportunities and that’s awesome! I guess it’s just not my thing and it makes me terribly uncomfortable to the point that the anxiety level is so high, I imagine myself whipping my arms into windmills and running out the back door of the sanctuary screaming up the street, in the dark all the way home which is miles away.
We are all different, we are all individuals regardless if we all believe and love and serve the one and only God but I will not feel guilt, shame,condemnation, OR be looked down upon for not participating in these activities like I have felt in the past. If people are really paying enough attention to the fact that my husband and I are practically holding on to each other with death grips and have sewn ourselves to our seats and are NOT going forward, then maybe the problem isn’t so much that we aren’t doing it rather, that someone should even notice. I would like to believe no one notices at all and I am going to go ahead and make sure that I DO think that way because again, being concerned with what other members of our congregation think about me and maybe our differences in views and opinions is a total waste of energy and it’s exhausting. And it may quite possibly not even be an issue with anyone at all…. Except that I know it is and I know people notice.
So here is to me for not caring!!
Does your church have a “Passion Week”?