I am not a person without several very stupid decisions in my juicy unwritten autobiography and had I not been raised in a Christian home with parents who constantly prayed for me to use wisdom and for my protection, I honestly don’t really know if I would have been the woman I am today IF I were even here at all. I understand now that most of my irrationality as a young woman was due to the un-diagnosed mental illness, but when even Dr Laura slams you over the airwaves of terrestrial radio telling you how you are a fool to believe what you are doing is “the right thing” ,after you refused to listen to EVERYONE else and you STILL don’t listen, you are pretty much at the mercy of your own choices and get what you deserve.
I am finding out that there are times as a parent when you have a hard headed child(ren) that refuse to listen to you or anyone else who has been through more life than them, the only thing you can do is step back and be there when their choices explode in their faces. I would never hope that would happen to any of my kids of course, but sometimes it just gets to that point where all signs lean toward disaster and there is nothing you can say or do (without causing them physical harm and blood) that will make them listen to you. I don’t doubt my mother was equally as frustrated with me as I am with some of the young adults in my life right now, and part of me wonders if she secretly giggles in her mind at the vengeance brought upon me with my own children, for which I believe she is totally entitled to a chuckle and a snort.
I would even be so bold to suggest that even God rolls His holy eyes when He sees what we are doing or hears the irrational thoughts we are trying to justify in our own minds. I would imagine Him, quite like a parent saying “Really? Even after everything I have promised you, THAT is what you are going to do”? When no one is perfect but Him and He is who created everyone, the phrase ” I told you so” could easily date back to when God created man. And so now I have to sit back and wait. Wait and pray that the outcome of my kids stubborn, prideful, arrogant, fearful ignorance won’t cause them harm but help them to grow. It breaks my heart and is SO stinking frustrating, just as I’m sure it was for my own mom but considering the decisions I made compared to the ones they are making right now, I am blessed in many ways and should be grateful it’s not much worse.
How much easier would it be though, to just beat them into reality right? Easy, however illegal. Boo