When we last left off it was my birthday and I was super depressed. I managed to survive and begin to feel better at least I think that’s what happened. The husband and I redecorated our sitting room and it turned out fabulous. I’ve had so much energy for the last week and suddenly my body and mind have stepped on the breaks to a complete halt and I feel like I cant possibly get enough rest. I’m really grateful for having the knowledge as to why my moods and physical behaviors cycle the way they do, but sometimes knowing is worse than not because it’s a reminder that I am battling a disease of the mind.

Lately I am working on my judgmental attitude toward others. I have become very mindful of the times that I am criticizing someones actions, so mindful that I actually say out loud “Oh it doesn’t need to matter why they are doing that, I need to only worry about what I am doing” but it’s hard!! It’s hard because I don’t understand why the homeless person would go and adopt a puppy or why the single mother would plead for help with  her finances and then go and make frivolous purchases that seem unnecessary I mean, considering you need fuel to get around how bad do you really need more luxury product? It drives me absolutely bonkers and it shouldn’t concern me one bit. I guess I don’t NEED to understand why people do such things, especially when I am sure someone could ask the same of me on some of my purchases. So I catch myself bitching about people and the other day actually verbalized my annoyance to the person which didn’t happen to go over well at all and I totally blew my witness. At the same time I think “well the truth hurts so”…

I’m a jerk

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One thought on “

  1. I don’t think you are a jerk. I think you are human and sometimes your mouth opens when you least expect it. I admire your creativity…maybe you should think of another project to work on the next time you have a holiday weekend.

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