Let’s get real shall we?

When have you ever known me to be untruthful? I hate that I’m even doing this but far be it for me to not be transparent so here goes nothing.

Two years ago a few months before I turned 40 and realized that I HAD to do something about the weight I had gained after switching careers and having stupid woman procedures that I later found out would cause weight gain, someone had introduced me to some natural bee pollen weight loss supplements AND Joe Cross the “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead” juicing guru all in the same week. Being the addict that I am I went full gusto into this thing and lost 40 pounds quite quickly I mean, how could I not? I went from eating real good to drinking fruits and vegetables almost exclusively and then began adding physical activity to my daily life and it. felt. wonderful.

Lord knows what the heck happened after about a year of this lifestyle  but having gone from being on my feet for 18 years in a grocery store 48 hours a week to sitting on my ass for 5 years 40 hours a week, my body went into some kind of shell shock and it seemed like everything was suddenly breaking down. It started with something in my ankle, going to my tendon behind my  heel then to the other side in my groin, then up to my lymph nodes  on my side boob and behind my ears. I was having chronic pain and feeling sick all the time finally bringing me to the point where I stopped walking every day and fell back into regular eating habits but being more mindful of what I was consuming because lets face it, drinking meals opposed to eating meals is no way to live.(if you’re lazy)

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There comes a point where you have to stop being depressed about what is happening and start trying to figure out what happened and why it did, so I began a quest to figure out if Joe Cross was right and perhaps the food was what was making me sick. I started cutting out wheat and gluten as much as possible and cooking and preparing every meal myself and my family ate as often as was humanly possible, and still I didn’t feel much better. Now, I had kept thinking about the natural herbal supplements that I had been faithfully taking, and knew that the several times I stopped taking them for financial reasons I would gain weight again so I’d freak out and start taking them again. I had asked the woman I bought them from if she had ever heard of any negative side affects like the ones I was having, I had done research all over the internet and found nothing and I even asked my friend who turned me on to them if SHE had heard or experienced anything, but she said she hadn’t. In the back of my mind I kept wondering if there was something in them that was affecting my body negatively causing me to feel sick and in pain. It was the ONLY THING I had done differently that I hadn’t stopped doing in those two years and I had to decide if I was serious about how I felt physically, enough to cut these things out of my life  regardless of the fact that I will more than likely gain some weight back, and I did. I was completely sick of feeling sick and I had to know if things would change for the better if I stopped taking them.

Talk about a hard thing to choose. As stupid as it sounds that I would rather be thinner than feel better, I did gradually stop taking the supplements. I have gained half of my weight back and it breaks my  heart whenever I look into the mirrors that seem to surround me in my bedroom. At the same time, my lymph nodes behind my ears haven’t been inflamed at all since I stopped taking the supplements. The ones I had on my side boob haven’t been inflamed like they had while taking the supplements either. But I gained back half of my weight. I’m almost positive that I could lose that weight again if I got serious about my eating and being physical again, and with the whole “new year new me” craze, I don’t honestly see any reason other than me being a lazy fatass that I cant begin to get better.

I guess the moral of the story is loosely this.

I need to not take diet supplements with bee pollen.

 

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