Wait. WHY am I fasting?

I’m going to be honest here(like anyone who reads my blogs should assume I’d be otherwise) I’m not real sure why I decided to fast from Facebook this year. I might even begin to be thinking it’s stupid and I am really struggling with the idea of it all. I will be honest(again) when that week started and my friend (who lived 400 miles away from me and that is how we communicated)died at the same time, it was horribly difficult for me to NOT be on there looking at all the memorials and just being a part of all of it with everyone who loved her and fought this battle of the big C by her side. After a couple days it became almost peaceful though and I realized that not having that in my face 16 hours a day made the mourning turn into something entirely different. My pastor gave me the book written by the beautiful Kara Tippetts called “The Hardest Peace” and it brought me back to the time I was on the other end of my phone and computer cheering on Kara and being so in aw of her faith in Jesus as she verbally poured out her anticipation about meeting him one day soon. With my friend though, she was convinced she would beat this and live here on earth with us all until our old age and be able to declare the healing of the Lord God Almighty!!

It didn’t work out that way though.

In my own arrogance I like to think that the way this all fell into place had intentionally to do with my decision to disconnect form the web of the web until on Sunday, a non fasting day, I decided to get on facebook for a bit and check in on her family and her page only to find out not only was her husband already selling her car but he had ‘killed’ her facebook page. Now, in a day where EFFING facebook is so prevalent in ALL OF OUR LIVES, the girl I am from the 1990’s when facebook wasn’t even a thing felt SOOOO stupid for crying about this man deleting his dead wife’s facebook page and then felt even more stupid for crying when telling someone at church about it. I am so mad at the way this ridiculous “thing” facebook( I dont even know what to call it, I dont even know how I would even begin to try to describe and explain it to people who actually don’t know anything about it) I am so mad at what it’s created in us as living and breathing people. I seriously have very little clue as to what people are up to right now and part of me wonders, “why do you need to know”?

Maybe that’s just it!

Maybe I DONT need to know and I needed to see right now just how much none of the everything that is happening on the facebook matters at the end of the day. I managed to get through the death of a human being, one I loved very very much and didn’t need facebook to do so. Being that this fast is just to signify the time Jesus was in the desert for 40 days, for the sake of recognizing I don’t NEED the facebook I would say it’s been beneficial fasting from it. I SEE that and I want to believe I can continue to stay off of it when this time is over because it’s just unnecessary. Now, that doesn’t mean I haven’t spent time habitually scrolling Instagram and posting stupid crap on SnapChat, but they aren’t the same they are dumb and I wouldn’t care if they were just gone. It’s the facebook that is such the stronghold and only 3 weeks into being separated from it I can see just how much and then again, I see how much more that it isn’t a stronghold at all, not when I am honoring the Lord and being separated from it.

That’s pretty interesting really, I hadn’t thought about it until just now.

I don’t think next year I am even going to suggest that I am “fasting” from Facebook because I don’t feel like I am being “deprived” of anything really. I think it’s just a way to just disconnect from the “things of this world” and get in tuned with the things in my own life that I need to reconnect with instead.

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