Dear Terri

Since you are basically the only person who reads this I figure I’d just speak to you directly.

Since Mr Shann started working  I think my head has spun in a thousand different directions, yet, I’ve managed to stay sane which is far more than some people I know and love are able to do right now. His actual work hours arent ridiculous but the drive home kind of is as it takes him a half hour longer because apparently everyone else is also trying to get home too. It doesn’t bother him like it bothers me so I need to probably get over myself because I dont have to drive in it. It’s just still an issue trying to get into a new routine after a half a year with him being home all the time, so when he comes rolling in after 6 and we have had dinner without him and are about to pass out from the days troubles, I have to somehow muster up a fifteenth wind for him. It’s tough, and I have little to no empathy from anyone around me because apparently, if I would just not do anything else I have going on (like babysitting the twins before work and taking them to school, taking my daughter to work, making cakes two of the three by the way, bring in extra income for me so I dont see what the problem is) I wouldn’t have to get up 5 hours before I have to be at work in order to get my chores, baking and decorating done before the kids get to the house and I have to get myself ready.

My plate is heavy. My hands are full. I am tired. But I am not complaining. I’m really not. It’s just a lot. It’s a lot and it doesn’t help that I am juicing again which is probably why I am able to get through these days so well. Today my sister told me that she feels bad for me not being able to eat food but happy for me that I’m losing weight again. I feel bad for me not being able to eat food too haha I think about eating tacos all day long. I am eating dinner which is the meal before your body sleeps and has the longest amount of time between meals so that’s good. I am eating I’m just not eating three full food meals a day like before and truth be told, if I’m going to sit at a desk all day it’s probably okay so long as I’m not sick and weak and near death….




2 thoughts on “Dear Terri

  1. Right! I’m sure a lot of this fatigue and confusion and just….well….discontent… is because you feel alone with Mr. gone most of your day. Sounds like you are putting plenty on yourself. I hope the new schedule soon becomes more comfortable. The good news is Mr. is working full time! I hope he likes his job. Other good news is your son is growing up with good standards and support. And, finally, you are doing the best you can with what you know. Thank you for addressing this post to me. I loved feeling so close to you.

    • Yesterday morning around 11 there was a terrible accident on Hwy 58 that he has to travel on for about 9 miles before he gets to the road his work is on and 2 people were killed when their car basically collided with a big rig. Well they had the highway closed for like 3 hours and by the time he got off work at 4, the traffic was so bad in both directions it took him 90 minutes to go that 9 miles east to get to the highway that leads him south to get home. He didnt get home until after 7 poor guy.
      He said that the job entails so much that its no wonder the guy before him couldnt get a handle on it and he wishes they would have kept him on for the both of them to work there. He is going to give it a bit more time to get his feet dirty before he says anything but if they mention to him that he needs to hustle he will probably have to let them know this is a two man job and it would be much more productive if they bring someone else on. We’ll see.

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